Last week went pretty much according to plan. Oh, except for the massive beatdown issued to USC by the Oregon Ducks. That game was a remarkable oddysey into the bizarro-world that is the 2009 Pac-10. Seriously, USC will not be in the BCS title game this season, and now its hopes for a Rose Bowl berth are all but wilted. Halloween also provided some controversy with Georgia running back Washaun Ealey getting an eyeful of hand (allegedly) from Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes. It’s football, that stuff happens in football. We all shouldn’t be so reactionary when a camera catches it for a couple of seconds. Plus, I bet there were a lot of other people gouging at their own eyes that night while watching Tennessee wear the hideously Halloween-themed creamsicle-on-black jerseys. Why not just wear pumpkin helmets? Let’s hope this week’s Remote Jungle is a little easier on the eyes than Brandon Spikes or Tennessee’s jerseys.

NOON

GAME TO WATCH: Virginia at No. 16 Miami on ABC. Watching the ACC this year is like watching the demolition derby. Even the last team standing is going to be absolutely beat up and just sputtering around at the end of the season. Virginia can crash Miami’s ACC title hopes in this game.

GAME TO SWITCH TO DURING COMMERCIALS: South Carolina at Arkansas on Fox. Which South Carolina team will show up? Which Arkansas team will show up? These answers and more in this week’s edition of “As the SEC Turns.”

THE OTHERS ARE BLOWOUTS, I WANT TO WATCH A CLOSE ONE: Northwestern at No. 8 Iowa on ESPN. If you’re in the market for a close game, you might as well become a Hawkeyes fan because their games are always entertaining no matter who they’re playing. But Northwestern? Look for quarterback Ricky Stanzi and Iowa to finally put a good game together in this one and win before the final play of the game.

OTHERS TO CHOOSE FROM
UCF at No. 2 Texas on FSN
Kansas at Kansas State (12:30) on Versus

3:30 P.M.

GAME TO WATCH: No. 9 LSU at No. 3 Alabama on CBS. Smashmouth SEC football at its finest will be on display in this one. Expect both offenses to look mediocre as two of the best defenses in the conference square off. I think it’d be cool if someone could find a way to pit the defenses against each other on the same field at the same time. Wait, I think I just invented rugby.

GAME TO SWITCH TO DURING COMMERCIALS: No. 15 Ohio State at No. 11 Penn State on ABC. If Iowa stumbles, this game could factor into the Big Ten title race. Something that won’t factor into the Big Ten title race this year: a Big Ten Championship game.

THE OTHERS ARE BLOWOUTS, I WANT TO WATCH A CLOSE ONE: Wake Forest at No. 10 Georgia Tech on ESPN2. The Yellowjackets are coming off an inspired win against Vanderbilt. The Demon deacons are coming off an inspired loss to Miami. Which team will be more inspired this week?

OTHERS TO CHOOSE FROM
Navy at Notre Dame (3:00) on NBC
No. 6 TCU at San Diego State on Versus

7:00-8:00 P.M.

GAME TO WATCH: Vanderbilt at No. 1 Florida on ESPN2. Methinks Urban Meyer will take out the frustration of his recent fine on Bobby Johnson and the Commodores. Know what would really send a message to SEC commissioner Mike Slive? Beating Vanderbilt 30,000-0.

GAME TO SWITCH TO DURING COMMERCIALS: UConn at No 4. Cincinnati on ABC. The Huskies have lost their past two games in the final minutes, which could help them if they get into a close game with the Bearcats. Cincinnati’s national title hopes now hinge on every game, but how will the ‘Cats handle the pressure as it magnifies each week?

THE OTHERS ARE BLOWOUTS, I WANT TO WATCH A CLOSE ONE: Florida State at Clemson on ESPN. In years past, this game was a chance for up-and-coming Clemson to make its season by beating the mighty Seminoles. Now, this game is the “Battle for Bowl Eligibility”.

THE OTHER ONE
Oregon State at No. 23 Cal on FSN.